“You  can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

Some people seem naturally good at making friends easily Often they don’t seem to have the “gifts” we think they should have: looks, talent, social standing, etc. But yet, some people just have a way with others.  When they walk into a room, energy seems to flow in with them, lighting up the room. What do they have that we do not?  How can we have that “Je ne sais quoi”? Being that likable person is not reserved just for some people. It is something that is accessible to all of us.

A classic book: How to Make Friends and Influence People was written about a decade ago by Dale Carnegie and it is still a bastion in leadership circles today. The book is filled with many tips that we can use to Make friends and Influence People. Below I have taken six principles. Try them and see if they don’t make a difference in your life.

 

How To Be That Likeable Person: 6 Tips

In his book How to Make Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie covers chapter after chapter of how to be a “people person”. Chapter 2 is titled: 6 Ways to Make People Like You. Just this chapter alone can help us on our way to being “that person” that everyone wants to be around. Deep down I think we all want to be “that” person, but too often we compensate justify to ourselves that maybe we are just not that kind of person. We tell ourselves that we just have an introverted personality. Yes, some of us are more introverted than others, but this has nothing to do with being a likeable person because being a likeable person comes down to how we value and treat others. It is not about trying to win a popularity contest.
 
So, without further ado, here are the 6 principles to help people to like you.
 

1. Be Genuinely Interested In People

In this chapter, Dale Carnegie gives an example of how dogs greet their “tribe”. Dogs are not shy about letting us know how they feel and about being overly excited about seeing us again.  Dogs make good friends for this reason.
 

Now, of course, we can’t go jumping up to greet people and we certainly won’t wag our tails, but we can definitely let the other person know that they are important to us. Our facial expression, our body language and our tone of voice are all ways we can communicate our interest in the other person Be genuine and people will like you.

 
Step 1: Be real and be interested!

2. Smile

Dale Carnegie writes “ A smile says ” I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”
 
A smile can come through even on the phone, through our voice. Facial expression and tone of voice are both ways to smile. Try not smiling when your tone of voice is smiling.
A smile can open “doors” where opportunities were closed. A smile is worth $money in the bank. It is a great way to make new friends.
 
Step 2: Smile!
 

3. Remember Names

What is the most important word for a person? His name. Names are our business card to the world.
When we make the effort to remember and call a person by their name, we are paying them a sincere compliment and raising them in value. We are saying to them “you are important to me and I recognize you as unique.”
 
Calling people by their name builds a connection and, in the business world, can even be a contributing factor to our success in making friends.
 
Step 3: Remember names.
 

4. Be a Good Listener

Being a good listener is key to making a connection with others. People simply want to be heard; they want an audience, a sympathetic ear, someone to hear their story, their experience. Good listeners are rare but so refreshing.
 
As Dale Carnegie writes, ” Most people are far more interested in themselves, their life, their situation than they are in our problems.”
 
Being a good listener compliments the other person. It sends them the message that what they are saying has value. It can also help us to avoid communication issues.
 
Step 4: Be a good listener!
 

5. Talk about What the Other Person Likes to Talk about.

People love to talk about themselves and their interests. They love to share their stories and experiences.  Focusing on the other person’s interests is a better way for them to like us.
 
We can begin by asking them questions (small talk) about their life (family, work, activities). . The goal is for the other person to feel that we care about his life and his activities or interests.
 
Step 5: Talk about their interests!
 

6. Make the Other Person Feel Important

Everyone wants to feel that they matter. We all want people to notice us. We want people to comment on the new haircut, the new outfit we are wearing, the quality of our work, our accomplishments etc. We want people to notice our uniqueness.
 
The number one basic emotional need is to feel appreciated. We can appreciate people in so many ways, big or small. Saying “thank you”  or complimenting can make all the difference. 
 
Everyone has something they can teach us. We can acknowledge that they have helped us, or taught us something. We can show our admiration for something they have accomplished, no matter how small.
 
Step 6: Make the person feel important!
 

 Conclusion: Focus on the other person, smile and listen and you will have no problem making many friends!

 
What tips could you add?   I would love to hear from you.
 
 
Sharing ideas is the game and life is for living
Diana’s passions are family, travel, self-improvement, living a debt-free/financially free life. She also loves hanging out with family, friends and being with her dog, Skye. You can connect with her through livingandstuff.ca.
 
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