The confident woman is inside each of us (women). She is what we aspire to be, what we work hard at developing in ourselves. She is by no means perfect. Sometimes she fails and sometimes she has to pick herself up off the muddy floor and start again. She has had her fair share of calamity, heartbreak, and misunderstandings.  She learns as she goes, gaining experience and wisdom as the years go by. She was not born this way; she chose to become confident.

The following are all traits of this confident woman.  Like a duck who appears serene floating in the water, while in reality is paddling with all he’s got under the calm water, so it is with the confident woman.  She struggles to be who she is. Most of the time we do not see her struggle, but it is there, just below the surface. She just chooses not to show it to the world. And she does not let the world define who she is.

I hope that this blog post will inspire women not to beat themselves up because they don’t measure up, but to gather quiet confidence in being who they are.  I hope that women will see that gaining confidence is a life-long process rather than a definition of who they are or are not.

There is a confident woman in each and every one of us women. Without further ado, here are the 10 habits of a confident woman.

1. She Knows When To Say No

Many of us, especially women,  but also men tend to be people-pleasers. We want to be liked and appreciated by others. We desire the validation of others to feel good about ourselves. Too often we say yes when we want to say no and then regret it later. The confident woman knows her limitations and needs. She does not need to say yes just to please. She reserves her yes for when she really means yes. She lets her yes be yes and her no be no and does not apologize for doing so.

2. She Is Confident With Who She Is

The confident woman knows herself – her strengths, her weaknesses, and her personality. She knows what she likes and what she does not like. The woman who is comfortable in her own skin does not feel or see the need to conform to the desires and expectations of others. She does not adhere to media stereotypes or ideals. She is content with who she is and does not worry what others think of her, after all, that is not her business.

3. She Is Not Afraid Of Being Alone

The confident woman is not dependent upon others emotionally. She is able to create her own happiness and is responsible for dealing with her own unhappiness as well. This does not mean that she doesn’t have strong relationships, but simply, that within the relationships she is not needy. A confident woman does not fear being alone because she is comfortable being with herself; she enjoys her own company.  She values having me-time where she can kick back and take care of herself.  Many people are uncomfortable with being alone because they equate it with loneliness and lack of companionship. The confident woman knows the difference and also that she is responsible for how she feels.

4. She Supports Other Women

Women tend to be highly competitive with one another.  We need other women to see how well we dress, the kind of men we date, the career we have and many other points. It is a bit of a paradox. We like to have the companionship of other women and we need them for comfort in times of relational troubles, but, at the same time, we seem to always be comparing ourselves. A confident woman does not feel the need to be in competition with other women or compare herself to them. Rather she sees value in building other women up, encouraging them to better themselves and validating their accomplishments.  A strong woman overlooks the pettiness and sees the beauty in her sisters.

5. She Listens With Intent

A person who is a good listener is generally perceived to be a good conversationalist. People tend to want to talk about themselves, their reality, what the like and don’t like, their family, their job and anything else that is a favorite subject to them.  A confident woman does not feel the need to talk a lot about herself or even to be heard. She is other-focused, preferring to listen and learn.  Generally, these good listeners come across as very cool and unstressed. The confident woman also listens with intent, the intent of perhaps learning something new or in sharing in another person’s burdens without necessarily being overwhelmed by them. She s not there to show people what she knows, but rather to learn from what people have to say.

6. She Has Goals And Takes Action

The confident woman creates her own success and knows that she alone, not other people or circumstances, is responsible for her success. She works at setting her own personal goals, whatever they may be and taking action steps in order to work towards achieving them. If she fails, she is responsible. If she succeeds, she is also responsible.  She also respects her priorities and sets her goals to be aligned with her priorities. She is reluctant to allow others to influence her priorities or set goals for her.

7. She Doesn’t Apologize Unnecessarily

Women are guilty of over apologizing for almost everything.  It is somehow built into the female psyche to offer an apology to make everything right again. It is almost a knee-jerk reaction. the apology slips out of our mouth before we even realize we have said “sorry”,  We apologize not only for ourselves but for everyone around us as well. Why do we do this? Well, I would say it comes down to our need to please others, make others happy and assuage our misplaced guilt. The confident woman is beyond this. She understands that she is only responsible for her actions and what she can control. There is no need for her to apologize profusely for herself or others.  When it is needed, she apologizes, gets it done and does not hash out the details.

8. She Takes Care Of Herself

A woman who loves herself and is confident in her skin takes care of herself and her needs.  She understands that no one else is responsible for tending to her needs. She knows her limits and is not afraid to set them on herself. She also knows when it is time to slow down and relax and she gives herself permission to do so. Taking care of herself also means she says no in order to meet her needs. The confident woman understands the importance of attending to herself even when it makes others unhappy. She sets her boundaries and does not apologize for doing so.

9. She Does Not Need Praise All The Time

We, humans, are creatures that thrive on praise. We need others to hold up our candle and see us in our own personal spotlight. The praise of others validates us and motivates us to keep going. We attach our own value to the praise of others. The problem with this craving for reconnaissance and praise is that most of the time, the world does not care. Most people are more focused on themselves than on us. A confident woman is able to find validation within herself. She is able to build herself up, be proud of her own accomplishments without depending on others to do this for her.  How she feels about herself is not dependant on how others feel about her.

10. She Doesn’t Take Things Personally

Taking offenses personally comes naturally to all of us.  We want to defend our dignity, our honor, and our credibility. It can be very hard to not take an offense personally especially when it is directed straight at us. But the reality is that we have no control over others, what the do or what they say. We can not control their emotions or their opinions and how they express them. We can only control what we do and say. The confident woman understands this and does not hold pity parties or gripe sessions to hash out how she has been mistreated. She finds more value in rolling with the punches or riding with the waves.  She is able to look past all the mess and see a silver lining on the horizon.

Did you enjoy this post?  Please let me know in the comments below.


Diana Lynne’s passions are family, traveling, learning, and pursuing a debt-free life. She also loves hanging out with family, friends and being with her dog Skye. Diana is a Quebec City girl. who loves living life.  You can connect with her through